If Nothing Ever Changes

“If nothing ever changes are you going to be ok?” said the pastor during worship.

Oh how I wish that phrase would’ve been only for the circumstance in the moment I heard it. But fast forward a couple weeks + add in some really tough news + that phrase is ringing in my ears. When the diagnosis says “lifetime” are you going to be ok? When it seems you can’t fix it are you going to be ok?

In all honesty… I don’t know. Right now it feels impossible. Right now it feels long + scary + we haven’t even gotten to the hard part yet! But Father keeps reminding me ever so gently, “don’t give in to the fear”. Oh sometimes I feel nervous + I feel ready to do something about it, but His peace stays me.

When I look back over the last two years I see His hand. I see how He has been preparing our hearts. How He has been drawing us near + calling us to come + rest in His love. I’ve never learned more about rest than in these past few years. Whether it was for this moment or another, He was preparing us. How glad I am that I leaned in rather than pushed away. His shalom peace is evident + I want to bathe in it.

Oh Father, Keep us here in the middle of this with You. It feels calmer than anxiety + more peaceful than fear.

So if nothing ever changes will I be ok? If I stay here, in rest, trusting Him? I think we are going to be just fine.